A big part of my life is the Christian community in which my husband and I volunteer. We met in this community and have seen firsthand the positive impact a supportive environment can have on raising a family. We’ve had the honor of mentoring young adults and facilitating conversations to help them navigate life’s challenges
One significant topic we’ve addressed, especially during the lockdown, is “Redefine Success.” When everyone was isolated, we found ways to connect on Zoom, using the time to check on each other, reflect, and discuss meaningful topics.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe everyone needs this type of recalibration. In speaking with young adults, we acknowledge the overwhelming number of choices they face at this stage of life. I want to share our insights and offer this blog post to anyone seeking a refined definition of success.
Why Revisit Your Definition of Success?
As adults, we often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life—jobs, family, social obligations. It’s easy to focus on financial stability and career achievements as primary indicators of success. However, it’s essential to periodically step back and reassess what success truly means to us.
Personally, the last few years have made me re-evaluate my definition of success. Raising four children with my husband, while juggling a corporate job and a side-hustle, forced me to commit to our vision and be discerning about what brought us joy.
Seeking True Success
A 2014 survey by Strayer University found that 90% of Americans believe success is about happiness, not power or money. They value friendships and fulfillment over fame and fortune.
When defining success, we should consider what truly matters: our relationships, happiness, and purpose. As the survey confirmed, renowned business leaders, athletes, and celebrities emphasize that having a purpose and finding self-fulfillment are key indicators of success.
Initially, I was surprised by this perspective, especially given the cultural emphasis on the “American dream.” People often ask, “What do you want to be?” or “What do you do?” It’s no wonder many equate success with status and career. However, our careers do not define us, nor do our failures.
We need to ask ourselves more meaningful questions to get more meaningful results.
Living a Life That Matters
Thomas Merton once said, “People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.” It’s crucial to ensure our pursuits align with our values and bring us genuine satisfaction.
Ask Yourself Meaningful Questions
Reevaluate your life’s direction:
- Are you climbing the right ladder?
- Is your current path fulfilling?
- Do your daily actions align with your long-term vision?
Consider a Different Path
Success is not a straight line; it’s more like a jungle gym with ups, downs, and lateral moves. Every step you take should contribute to your overall growth and happiness.
It goes without saying that this is not a permission for mediocrity.
We should strive to be our very best in all that we do. We still need to make a living and there will be seasons in our lives where hustle will be asked of us. Work and earning money will be part of life, but we can’t get lost in the busyness. We need to know the reason “Why” we do what we do.
A healthy money mindset is crucial to be a good steward of money. While money is a necessary tool, it should not control us:
- Be mindful of how you talk about money.
- Give back to others, recognizing you have more than enough.
- Prepare for rainy days with an abundant mindset.
- Surround yourself with positive influences.
- Practice gratitude daily.
Writing a Future Self-Letter
One powerful tool to align with your vision is writing a letter from your future self. Imagine yourself in the future, living the life you desire. What advice would your future self give you? We used FUTUREME.ORG so we received the emails at a later date (ie. a year from now, or whenever you want to achieve things). This exercise is effective because we are always hopeful that our future will be exceptional. The energy we use to write is on another level, there’s an excitement in seeing your dreams come true. Using neuro-science, you train your brain to know that it’s happened already, it’s electrifying.
I have to admit, when I wrote the letter the first time it didn’t sink in but when I received the email a year later, it helped me get into gear. I grabbed opportunities that aligned with my vision.
I discovered from the letter certain dreams I didn’t dare formulate before.
I saw subtle hints of what I needed to let go of, what I needed to focus on, and what brought our family joy. Being healthy, focusing on well-being, having full autonomy of our time, creativity, finances, and location freedom was a recurring theme. It eventually, led me to finally make the decision, to become a full-time creative entrepreneur. (Not to say that full-time entrepreneurship is for everyone, but this was in alignment for us.)
I’m telling you, it works!
Another example I have that journalling works was captured from this post.
Creating a New Identity
To achieve a different future, you need to create new thoughts, feelings, and actions. This involves:
- Visualizing Success: Picture your future self and the results you want.
- Aligning Internally: Ensure your thoughts and feelings match the life you envision.
Final Thoughts
Success is a deeply personal concept that goes beyond financial stability and career achievements. It encompasses happiness, meaningful relationships, and personal fulfillment. Regularly revisiting and redefining what success means to you can ensure that you live a life aligned with your true values and God’s vision for you.
As a Christian, I mention God, the Universal Intelligence who loves and wants goodness for you.
True vision comes from understanding God’s purpose for you. Ask not just what you want to be, but what kind of person God wants you to be. Align your life’s decisions with His vision, and you will find peace and fulfillment.
Take the time to reflect and make adjustments as needed, knowing that each step brings you closer to a fulfilling and purpose-driven life.
Share your thoughts in the comments below. Has your definition of success changed as you got older?